Shake up your communication beliefs, shock yourself into reality!
Written by Renée Safrata - renee@reneevations.com, October 22nd, 2009
When team accountability declines, I question if the leader or manager is trapped in a communication myth – a widely held but false belief or idea.
As a leader/manager, it’s critical to be aware of your communication style and its effectiveness. It could be as simple as asking yourself, “Do I believe in these myths and if so, what can I do differently?”
“While you may ignore the truth because it is uncomfortable to face, other times you accept myths over truth because you don’t know the difference” – Joshua Uebergang
Myths of Communication
1. If I tell somebody to do something. they are actually going to do it.
To raise the bar of accountability, leaders and managers need to take the time to check-in with the individual to make sure they agree with the need, and are willing to set a target date for the completion of the task.
2. If I tell somebody to do something, they have heard it, and they understand what they need to get done.
Reflective/active listening is critical to effective communication creating improved results. First ask the individual to repeat back what they heard you say. If they didn’t hear it correctly, re-word it and ask them to repeat it again. This can take a moment but it is worth it! Attaining clarity with reflective listening decreases errors and misinterpretations.
3. If I say it once, once is enough.
Retention 24 hours after a presentation ranges between 8 – 12% (check out my post about “the forgetting curve“). That means if you stick to this myth you will receive 8-12% of the results you are looking for! To improve this, check in regularly with the individual.
If you are leading a team, watch that you don’t get trapped in these myths. Instead, shake it up!
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Comments: 8 Responses so far
So very true. My team has taught me so much over the years about communication effectively. I have clients that tell me daily that they are GREAT at communicating …but… they don’t understand why they are simply not getting great results…
This is a great simple videocast that effectively tells why. Well done Renee.
Thanx for the comment Isabelle. It is so true – professional assumptions of communication ‘competence’ are often extremely overestimated. Many of us are trapped in our own ‘story’. Results will not appear unless – we choose to unlearn our assumptions, relearn the basics and learn how to implement new behaviours.
Keep listening!
Have a great week.
Renée
Victoria February 17th, 2010
The third point makes complete sense to me, particularly when you’ve made a presentation to a group of people. Maybe it was a presentation to a group of sales people on a new product that is launching. You want to reinforce key points again and again.
However, if you have someone who you’ve assigned a task to and you’ve followed points one and two to establish mutual understanding and timeline, doesn’t point three conflict with holding that person able?
Great reminder! I am a participant in the myths – two and three for certain. Typically, I will check back on any assigned tasks…my work needs to occur in the ‘making sure they got it’ portion. Have had occasions where my team members spend time unnecessarily as they did not clearly understand what I needed as an output. Note to self…work on reflective/active listening.
Camille February 26th, 2010
Excellent. I really need to ensure that I take the time to request the reflective listening. And, if they don’t know what that is I need to ensure I educate my direct reports.
One thing that I have been doing is “inspect what I expect” which ties to one and three. Very important.
In peer groups, I can be viewed as a control freak because I request for reflective listening and I follow-up with email confirmations to improve the forgetting curve. However, I will hold steady to my commitment to improve effectiveness.
Sheryl March 3rd, 2010
Wow – I am guilty of all three myths. I assume (yes, I know what this word can lead to) that if I’m not clear that the other party will ask. I need to take ownership in making sure they understand, and vice versa.
lyle hildahl March 4th, 2010
i agree with the myths and even more so today with so much mulitasking going on. i feel its my responsibility to follow up in a way that the message is heard. slowing down helps.
I agree with, but personally struggle with myth 3: Usually because I feel like I can’t find the balance on the pendulum. I often get feed back (hard push back) when I follow up something to the tune of “You already told me, do you not trust me?” or “You already told me, do you think I am an idiot?” (not exact words) So I stop following up, and when problems start to occur I ask about it and the same people say “Oh, I forgot”. Grrrr.
I work on the balance a lot, but still haven’t found a sweet spot. Some of the problem is there is a a wide variety of personality / styles on the team and each has their own middle ground and I don’t switch gears as smoothly as I want to…yet.
October 22nd, 2009